According to the Sunday Times, there’s a great worry for the couples who open their joint accounts and have all their money there.
You always need to have your won bank account that should be main for you. Get your salary there, giving a certain sum of money for your joint account – for mortgage, bills, etc. If you’re in the middle of a severe quarrel or a divorce, secure yourself and ask the bank to freeze the account.
There’s a story about the ex of a woman who had sold her London house and bought a new one nearer to her mother that was in a tough condition because of cancer. The man had divorced not long ago, and lived in a tiny flat, while she has a great home with no mortgage, and over £600,000 on her bank account.
Seven years after they split, she is living in a small, two-bedroom house with no money, while he and the woman he had an affair with, now his wife, are in the country home he and my partner once shared.
This man and his wife have made my partner’s life a misery for many years to mask the fraud he perpetrated against her when they co-owned a company. He managed all their personal finances, because he had worked for a large bank. He subsequently managed all their company finances, removing large sums of money for his personal use.
The police believed the persuasive fraudsters and did not even interview the victim. She was cast in the light of the spurned ex-girlfriend carrying out a vendetta.
When they split, they agreed to sell their joint property, but he reneged on that and simply stayed put in their home and moved in his new girlfriend. My partner was left living in a small flat they jointly owned, totally under his control. She had to go to court to persuade him to sell it. This couple have destroyed her physical, emotional and financial health.
It is a step forward that coercive control is included as an offence under the Serious Crime Act. However, persuading the police that abuse is happening is made all the more difficult when the abuser is persuasive and credible.
MW, on thesundaytimes.co.uk
LAST week’s stories of controlling men were very one-sided. There may have been good reasons for some of the men to exert control. One always needs to look at the other side of the story before passing judgement.
One of my employees needed time off to recover from a breakdown brought on by his wife running up debts, clearing out their joint account and selling their car, all to fuel her problem with drink. Another employee’s wife ran up store card bills totalling many thousands. After he cleared them for her, she secretly took out more cards and did the same again. In the end, his parents had to bail them out for the sake of the children.
KC, central London
Burglars’ haul is priceless
I OFFER my sincere sympathy to Hunter Davies, having read about his late wife’s ring and various other belongings being stolen (“What the thieves took can never be replaced”, last week).
I once left my engagement ring and other jewellery at my mother’s house for safekeeping, but she was burgled. When she died, I kept her gold cross and we were then burgled. It is not the value of the jewellery that counts; it is the sentimental value these items have, and the comfort they offer to those who have lost loved ones.
I am sure many other people can relate to Hunter’s article. I just don’t know how we can get the thieves to feel empathy.
CM, Wallington, southwest London
Play fair on pensions
JILL MOUNTFORD’S comment hit the nail on the head (“Payback time for pension savers”, Have Your Say, last week). We should insist gold-plated public sector pensions are taken out of the welfare budget, so they can be dealt with in an open and transparent way. Maybe the government could cap them, like it caps benefits and council house rents.
MC, Harlow, Essex
MY SISTER, who is 68, trained as a teacher in England in the 1960s and 1970s. She worked in this country for a year before marrying and moving permanently to France, where she still lives. I was astonished to discover that she receives a pension of about £20 a week. Considering I have worked here for more than 40 years, my state pension is minute by comparison.
SL, Ealing, west London
Talk Talk won’t listen
I HAD a similar experience to your poor reader’s late mother (“Talk Talk has treated an elderly customer appallingly”, Question of Money, last week). I’d had an account with Talk Talk for about five years and switched provider in April. Talk Talk continued to bill me and take money from my account. When I contacted them, they said the account had not been terminated and they would close it immediately. I would have to pay the bill for June and that would be an end to it.
While I was on holiday in July and August, they took £27.70 each month. I contacted them again and was assured the account had been terminated. Having lost confidence in the company, however, I cancelled my standing order — and immediately received an email threatening me with a debt collector. Despite repeatedly trying to contact Talk Talk about this issue, I continued receiving bills and threatening statements.
I can’t believe how cavalier they have been with customers’ time and feelings. They must be hoping people will take the path of least resistance and, as your article said, feel relieved it’s over.
I finally received a refund last week, but the man I spoke to in the chief executive’s office made me feel as though Talk Talk had done me a favour.
All this stress and upset. Then there are the costly phone calls, and so much time taken up going through irrelevant loops. I was, and am still, really angry about it.
LB, Morecambe, Lancashire
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